5 Ways American Cannabis Laws Are Completely Absurd

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In his weekly show Last Week Tonight, host and comedian John Oliver had some things to say about American cannabis laws last year. The segment itself was hilarious, and I consider it to be one of his best ones, even though it first aired almost a year ago.

but the real joke is the way that the American government treats cannabis. Almost every state in the US has a law permitting cannabis use of some kind. Eight states allow recreational cannabis. A majority of Americans support cannabis legalization. Despite all this, Federal American cannabis laws remain firmly in the dark ages. Things were starting to get a little better when president Obama decided to take a more hands off approach to federal enforcement. Now that Jeff “good people don’t smoke marijuana” Sessions is in charge of enforcing federal laws, including American cannabis laws, things are about to get more interesting.

Opponents Say Cannabis Should Be Studied More, Then Make Cannabis Impossible to Study.

Opponents of legalization like to say that cannabis should not be legalized until it’s studied further. The joke is that it is extremely difficult to study. Scientists wanting to study cannabis have to first get approval from the DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration). This process takes a ridiculously long time (which I believe is partially intentional). When researchers finally do get approval, they can only get cannabis from the University of Mississippi, and the quality of the bud is shit.

You Can Still Be Fired For Failing A Drug Test In Legal States

In 2015, the Colorado Supreme Court ruled that businesses could still fire you for using cannabis, despite state laws. The case involved Brandon Coates, a 35 year old quadriplegic who was fired from his job at Dish Network for failing a routine drug test for cannabis. Coates used cannabis to deal with debilitating muscle spasms. Knowing this, Dish Network fired him anyway, because they can.

Dispensaries Get Screwed At Tax Time

It’s tax time in America, which means headaches and stress for a lot of us. Nobody has it worse than cannabusinesses. One of the things that really helps businesses stay afloat is the fact that they can deduct business expenses on their taxes. Dispensaries cannot. The reason is because they are technically trafficking drugs, as dumb as that sounds. They also have to pay extra in their state taxes, so I guess it’s a good thing that dispensaries rake in the dough.

It’s Illegal For Doctors To Prescribe Cannabis, Even If It’s Legal In Your State

American cannabis laws don’t allow doctors to prescribe cannabis to patients, even if it happens to be legal in their state. This is why doctors in medical states can only recommend that a patient try cannabis. In some states they’re not even allowed to do that. If cannabis were moved to Schedule II, then doctors would be allowed to prescribe it. Since the American government thinks cannabis is like heroin, it’s not seen as a medicine. The reasons for this are more political than practical.

You Can Still Be Arrested When Following the Law

This is why people are so freaked out over Sean Spicer’s comments from a month ago. Due to federal prohibition, you are technically still guilty of a crime if you are caught with cannabis, even if you live in Colorado, or somewhere else. It just depends on whether or not the federal government chooses to enforce federal law in legal states. Obama decided not to enforce federal laws. The Trump administration appears to have different plans.

American cannabis laws are completely absurd, and are responsible for ruining many people’s lives. The United States has the highest prison population in the world, and the reason for that is because America loves to put people behind bars for smoking a plant.

Image Source: extract.suntimes.com

Did we miss any of the other absurdities of American cannabis laws? Share in the comments!


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